Throughout my life, I have found that this fundamental question "What am I?" as opposed to "Who am I?", and the need to ask it, has brought me to an understanding of connections or disconnections between all things with-in me and with-out me. Whether it be in the form of "non-duality (Zen Buddhist belief that with one thing, there is always some opposite thing coexisting as its direct opposite), "Synchronicity (meaningful coincidences), ideas of "liminality (transitional phenomena), or "schizophrenic wonder (arbitrary and disconnected connections leading to other connections and/or disconnections). A love of physics and metaphysics, in search of my own understanding of life. And more specifically, my life.
I've come to realize that it is in-between each question and its answer, in-between, each problem and its solution, that real meaning, and potential can be found. I believe it is here, that significance, and beauty lie. I am fascinated with the relationships in-between things. What happens in that area where there is no right and wrong, no black and white? The possibilities become infinite so you create a set of rules upon which to make your decisions, and with it, a creation of something never yet created before. It is the ultimate puzzle if you will. To have all these pieces and have no idea how the image will turn out to look. And yet each piece neatly fits the other, and only by working at it, and working at it, can you begin to imagine in your mind what that image will "potentially" be. And each time you put it together and take it apart, it will, in essence, never be the same as the last one.
So what am I? I am that puzzle. I am an architect, a designer, a thinker. I embrace the schizophrenic, over the linear, in search of the "potential in all things. I live my life off of the inspiration that people and "life provide me with as connections, or disconnections because I am aware and receptive to them.
I participate in ideas with myself, within myself, with others, and for others. I believe in change, I believe in questions, I believe in transitions. I want to be forever inspired by all the big things, and even more so by all the little things. And I want in life to be able to, in return inspire others.
I do what I do, because I love what I do. I live how I live because passion tells me to. I believe what I believe because my heart tells me it's true. I change how I change, because nothing remains the same. I am what I am, because, well, I just am.
Hidekazu Tsutsui - 2007
